ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
