can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
