I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
