my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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