Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
