He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
