What a fucking waste of an outfit
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
