Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Found your dick twin last night
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
