I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
