I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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