paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
