Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It was confusing and full of hummus
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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