Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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