Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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