That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
