you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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