I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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