Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You pole danced in your parka.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
