im holly from the hills drunk
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
