The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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