we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
