dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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