you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
