And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
