Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
