yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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