end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
