You're completely useless in the revolution.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
