but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
this boner is exhausting
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
