i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
