i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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