Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You need Xanax blowdarts
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
