I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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