did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Fuck appropriateness.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
