I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
