32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
