He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
