i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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