If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
