I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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