Sponge bath it is.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
