Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
