Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
