I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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