thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Randomize
