i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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