3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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