kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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