i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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