she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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