im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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