AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
