You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
3 2 1 whiskey
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
