Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
she looked like the before picture.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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