my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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